Chuck Palahniuk - Pygmy
Thus speaks Pygmy, one of a handful of young adults from a totalitarian state sent to the United States, disguised as exchange students, to live with typical American families and blend in, all the while planning an unspecified act of massive terrorism. Palahniuk depicts Midwestern life through the eyes of this thoroughly indoctrinated little killer, who hates us with a passion, in this cunning double-edged satire of an American xenophobia that might, in fact, be completely justified. For Pygmy and his fellow operatives are cooking up something big, something truly awful, that will bring this big dumb country and its fat dumb inhabitants to their knees. It’s a comedy. And a romance.
→ Dispatch - First Begins here first account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival Midwestern American airport greater  area. Flight . Date . Priority mission top success to complete. Code name: Operation Havoc.
Fellow operatives already pass immigrant control, exit through secure doors and to embrace own other host family people. Operative Tibor, agent 23; operative Magda, agent 36; operative Ling, agent 19. All violate United States secure port of entry having success. Each now embedded among middle-income corrupt American family, all other homes, other schools and neighbors of same city. By not after next today, strategy web of operatives to be established.
→ Dispatch - Second Begins here second account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival retail product distribution facility of city . Outlet number . Date . For official record, during American winter youth attend compulsive levels of teaching; during summer, American youth must attend shopping mall.
→ Dispatch - Third Begins here third account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival religion propaganda distribution outlet of city . Outpost community Date . For official record, if become bankrupt old retail distribution centers-labeled supermega, so-enlarged foodstuff market-later reincarnate to become worship shrine. First sell foodstuff, next then same structure sell battered furnitures, next now born as gymnasium club, next broker flea markets, only at final end of life…sell religions.
→ Dispatch - Fourth Begins here fourth account of operative me, agent number 67, seated among sleeping vault of host sister. Domestic structure Cedar. Suburb community . Date . For official record, have no yet violated secure entry host sister vagina. More easy this agent able violate secure American nation border.
→ Dispatch - Fifth Begins here fifth account of operative me, agent number 67 recall training session day . Operative preparation laboratory . Home nation . Dated back many year. For official record, recounting here formative history of operative me.
→ Dispatch - Sixth Begins here sixth account of operative me, agent number 67, attending initial today structured compulsory education session. Public education institution Middle level . Homeroom Dated current now. For official record, American education facility devoted humiliation and destroy all self-respect out native youth. Conspire to degrade all dignity. Calibrated tasks assigned to destroy all self-esteem.
→ Dispatch - Seventh Begins here seventh account of operative me, agent number 67, seated among sleeping chamber of host sister. Domestic structure Cedar. Suburb community . Date . For official record, night of today host cat sister absorb all light.
→ Dispatch - Eighth Begins here eighth account of operative me, agent number 67, attending student mating ritual located darkened sports arena of education facility. Night of today . Ritual song perform . For official record, American family invent infinite plentitude absurd labels for christening female offspring.
→ Dispatch - Ninth Begins here ninth account of operative me, agent number 67, regaining host residence subsequent attending student mating ritual. Return via public transport bus route . Transfer route . Walk final segment to follow public byway . For official record, backbone of operative me no penetrated by revolver ammunition Trevor Stonefield.
→ Dispatch - Tenth Begins here tenth account of operative me, agent number 67, recall former practice offensive attack exercise . Battle gallery . Headquarters . Combat rehearsal dated back many year. For official record, repeat recounting here formative history of operative me.
For reinforce early lesson training of operative me.
→ Dispatch - Eleventh Begins here eleventh account of operative me, agent number 67, attending this today structured compulsory education session. Participate combat among student public education institution . Forced battle to list English alphabet letters which comprise typical vocabulary word. Spelling war staged auditorium . Dated current now. For official record, all American youth become casualty, already slain attempt letters to build coordinate or transpire. Six youth destroyed from battle against word separate.
→ Dispatch - Twelfth Begins here twelfth account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival religion propaganda distribution outlet of city . Outpost community . Date . For official record, devil Tony repeat in absent.
For official record, worship shrine of community offer tanning box where supine nude so become scarred beneath artificial solar body. Offer infinite variation beverage extracted dried coffee bean. Offer gallery ranked machines purpose build muscle through resistance training. Every thus, in addition forgive moral transgression of individual. By today of next week to offer feature movie rentals. Drop box of rental returns stationed beside poor box.
→ Dispatch - Thirteen Begins here thirteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, on council chamber floor, Model United Nation, conducted suburb of city . General assembly session . Date . For official record, operative me acting as delegate United States, appareled appropriate traditional American wide-brim, ten-gallons boy of cows head covering, coated reflective sequins of colors blue, white, and red. Foot shod boot associated profession boy of cows. Borrowed of host mother. Skinned ostrich. Otherwise appareled black fabric tunic printed English words “Property of Jesus,” sewed so appropriate fit vast North American obese endomorphic body type. Hemline tunic flair loose flapping knees of operative me.
→ Dispatch Fourteenth Begins here fourteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, recalling former marched parade event in celebration . Reviewed by supreme high commandant . Assembled military force combined infantry and artillery home nation . Occurrence parade dated back many year. For official record, repeat recounting here formative history of operative me.
For reinforce early best important training of this agent.
→ Dispatch - Fifteenth Begins here fifteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, seated subterranean chamber designated purpose family Cedar observe television viewing appliance. Subdivided community residences border major metropolitan area . Date . Recumbent aboard large upholstered bench crowded many cushions, accompanied host pig dog brother so analyze documentary video recorded during resolution Model United Nations. Evade numerous telephone contacts American television network program .
→ Dispatch - Sixteenth Begins here sixteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, seated aboard public mass transportation routed . Transferred of route . Transferred of route line . Originating transportation route .
For official record, during venture to board access current conveyance, vehicle captain rest eye upon operative me and host cat sister, both face skin painted black color. Negroid captain seated so to control steering, accept payment, announce disembark locations along route, captain witness cat sister black paint, say, “What are you two supposed to be?”
→ Dispatch - Seventeenth Begins here seventeenth account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival religion propaganda distribution outlet city . Sabbath . Denomination . For official record, initial public appearance this agent since Model United Nation debacle.
→ Dispatch - Eighteenth Begins here eighteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, recall most bad event occurring formative year Familial tragedy much documented history bureau Communicated to this agent via gentle wisdom top nurturing warden of district . Occurrence tragedy dated back many year since infanthood this agent.
→ Dispatch - Nineteenth Begins here nineteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival retail product distribution facility of city . Outlet number . Date . For official record, no yet legal adopted so become full member host family Cedar. Making all effort resist absorption into American cult of the individual, traditional method entrenched oligarchy so maintain own power: Fracture citizen isolated into different religion, different race, different family. Label as rich culture diversity. Cleave as unique until each citizen stand alone. Until each vote invested no value. Single citizen celebrated as special-in actual, remaining no power.
→ Dispatch - Twentieth Begins here twentieth account of operative me, agent number 67, most recent exited public mass transportation routed . Deposited industrial park . Made lengthy parade so arrive private facility performing research contracted United States federal department of . Specific purpose to abscond taking top security samples .
→ Dispatch - Twenty-first Begins here twenty-first account of operative me, agent number 67, on revisit religion propaganda distribution outlet of city . Exterior worship shrine menaced simmering horde media jackal for printed journal . In attendance, multiple parasite representing crowded whorehouse of cable distributed television outlet . Additional under siege by loitering vultures radio network .
→ Dispatch - Twenty-second Begins here twenty-second account of operative me, agent number 67, recall most bad event occurring formative year . Occurrence familial tragedy related terrorist assassination dated . Massacre innocent citizens municipal area .
→ Dispatch - Twenty-third Begins here twenty-third account of operative me, agent number 67, attending compulsory education session public institution . Class period . Physical education conducted instructor Coach . For official record, American education rituals especial efficient at task segregation youth of superior intellect removed from youth gifted superior physical prowess. Best example, ritual label as “dodgeball.” Therein all peer males engage mock battle under witness fertile peer females.
→ Dispatch - Twenty-fourth Begins here twenty-fourth account operative me, agent number 67, seated surrounding meal table host family Cedar. American holiday food of Thanksgiving. Present: vast cow father, pig dog brother, chicken mother, cat sister host family all hands linked so create fence surrounding bounty food table. Recite religious incantation . Express gratitude such bounty slaughtered enemy citizens of . Nation boast celebration vanquish aboriginal North American peoples .
→ Dispatch - Twenty-fifth Begins here twenty-fifth account of operative me, agent number 67, recalling covert training of past formative year . This today, acquire stealth battle philosophy espoused top esteemed field marshal . Explained secret espionage purpose of operative genitals, all agents, advancing world power of homeland .
→ Dispatch - Twenty-sixth Begins here twenty-sixth account of operative me, agent number 67, attending alive living torture Junior Swing Choir. Have initiated construction weapon of mass destruction . Crafting success recent foray for obtain deadly neurotoxin . Effective dispersal method . For official record, current now, ape mimic joyous facial expression fellow student during bellow propaganda lyrics. All lauding agrarian United State deemed Oklahoma, primitive environment employing equine labor for drag wheeled conveyance despoiled with superfluous decorative fringe.
→ Dispatch - Twenty-seventh Begins here twenty-seventh account of operative me, agent number 67, repeat attending student mating ritual located darkened sports arena of education facility. Night of today . Subjected onslaught of high-sucrose song lyric, musical corn syrup, repetitive sentiments, timed tempo mimicking quickened intercourse during moments prior to erect penis spewing seed. Alternately, more slower music permit prolonged engagement foreplay whereby pubescent males abrade females utilizing erect phalli.
→ Dispatch - Twenty-eighth Begins here twenty-eighth account of operative me, agent number 67, on covert mission, foray for visit religion propaganda distribution outlet of city . Purpose test effect neurotoxin . This today no Sabbath. Fatal toxin intended victim test subject .
→ Dispatch - Twenty-ninth Begins here twenty-ninth account of operative me, agent number 67, competing first-round preliminaries National Science Fair, regional chapter of state . Top important priority: project operative me judged most best, deemed worthy progress next succeeding level science fair located metropolitan area . Allow this agent detonate righteous vengeance accompanied along operative Tanek, Magda, Chernok, Ling, all agent, on behalf glorious homeland .
→ Dispatch - Thirtieth Begins here thirtieth account of operative me, agent number 67, upon return religion propaganda distribution outlet of city . Seated among throng many citizen, vacuous lazy multitude citizen state . Philosophically lax, morally despicable, culturally exhausted membership congregation religious community . On occasion disposal cadaver devil Tony for nourish soil denizens.
Snake nest. American den of evil. Hive of corruption.
→ Dispatch - Thirty-first Begins here thirty-first account of operative me, agent number 67, recall training session. On passed occasion practice physical education, ministry of health, city . Conducting resistance training Romanian dead lifts, Bulgarian split squats, , overhead press. Under observation, direct report revered director master health administrator .
→ Dispatch -Thirty-second Begins here thirty-second account of operative me, agent number 67, seated amid sleeping vault of host sister. This today, following daily instruction . High School. During host mother sojourn so interrogate confined host father at . Federal Building. During host brother engaged practice sport .
→ Dispatch - Thirty-third Begins here thirty-third account of operative me, agent number 67, upon foray retail outlet Wal-Mart for purchase provisions National Science Fair. Fresh inner pants, paste of teeth, hair comb, supplies required purpose of travel airplane flight . Journey so housed corrupt luxury hotel . Hatch wide distribution deadly neurotoxin , instant kill American millions, likely in addition Tibor, Mang, Ling, all fellow operative-including operative me. Likely additional martyr Magda, burdened with fetus. Accomplish lifetime mission Operation Havoc.
→ Dispatch - Thirty-fourth Begins here thirty-fourth account of operative me, agent number 67, on departure Midwestern American airport greater area. Flight . Date . Destination competition finals National Science Fair, located city of Washington, District of Columbia, national seat most hated American nation.
→ Dispatch - Thirty-fifth Begins here, today of this agent’s noble demise.
For official record, squander final dawn housed luxury hotel . Observe television viewing appliance, program . Witness American president speak small announcement, likely by night of today president in addition deceased. Millions deceased. Careful hands operative me pack final preparation, steel metal canister approximate size can for refuse. In actual, formerly galvanized can housing garbage. Stenciled encircling exterior can, English letter words: “Peace Machine.” Executed utilizing Day-Glo pink-color paint. Garnished many depictions daisy plant, singing bluebird trilling musical note. Decorated plethora arched rainbow. Scripted more-small letters, labeled “Path to Permanent Global Peace.”
→ Dispatch - Thirty-sixth Begins here thirty-sixth account of operative me, agent number 67, recalling former practice American language studies. Classroom warren deep interior building . Capital city of best top glorious homeland . For official record, repeat recounting here formative history of operative me.
For reinforce early lesson training of operative me.
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